"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
1. The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger. Instead of yelling “get down!”, they have to yell “Donald, duck!”
2. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
3. How does a rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it.
4. Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
5. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. Librarian: “They’re right behind you!!”.
6. Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line” Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
7. What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
8. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little antybodies.
9. Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee? Huh. I use a spoon.
10. My friend says to me: “what rhymes with orange” I said: “no it doesn’t”
11. My friends say there’s a gay guy in our circle of friends… I really hope it’s Todd, he’s cute.
12. What happened when the pirate attempted to recite the alphabet? He got lost at ‘c’
13. Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes.
14. People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!
15. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
16. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
17. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
18. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
19. A guy goes to the Doctor. He’s got a Carrot in 1 ear, a stalk of Celery in his other ear, a Pea in his nostril, he says “Doctor, I haven’t been feeling well.”
The Doctor says “That’s because you’re not eating right.”
20. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.
21. What do you do if you see a space man? Park in it, man.
22. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
23. I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean…
24. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me get to the other side!”
The other guy replies “You are on the other side!”
25. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
26. Why could the lifeguard not save the hippie? He was too far out man.
27. The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
28. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
29. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
30. What’s the difference between a dirty old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station the other one is a busty crustacean.
31. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
32. Why did the banker quit his job? He lost interest!
33. 2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, “you ever worry about that mad cow disease?”. The other cow says, “why would i care? I’m a helicopter!”.
34. A man was hit in the head with a soda. Good thing it was a soft drink.
35. What do you call a dog that has no legs?
Doesn’t matter, he’s not coming.
36. Why do scuba divers jump off boats backwards?
Because if they jumped forward, they’d still be in the boat.
37. I went to the doctor and said I’ve been constantly dreaming that I was a wigwam and sometimes a teepee, he said relax, you’re two tents.
38. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
39. A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says “You can stay, just as long as you don’t start anything”
40. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
:-DDD
"Acro Yoga is an ancient art form that's about ten years old, specifically designed by the masters to help you get more attention on social media."
nagyon sokféleképp lehet megpróbálni egy mondatban összefoglalni Magyarország működését, de a “túl sok víz miatt leálltak a BKK hajói” mindenképp egy erős versenyző
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
Csináljon egy videót, ahol megvesz ugyanennyi tejet és elviszik a hajléktalan gyerekeknek, majd megnevetteti őket mindenféle csetlő-botló bohóckodással. Tán még több likeot is fog kapni a barma.
"Az élet egy nagy szarosszendvics és minden nap egy újabb harapás" -ismeretlen gerilla feljegyzése
Nem fogom ilyenek miatt szétbarmolni a kedvem. Milliárd szám csinálnak ilyet, csak nincs rögzítve. :D
Ezekbe nincs beleszólásom, s mivel megvan a szilárd véleményem arról, mi lenne a helyes és mi az ami abszolút kerülendő, nos ennek fényében megtehetem azt, hogy elmosolyodok ilyesmin, mert attól nem fog változni más mentalitása és nem a reakciómból fog jól lakni a sok éhező, ahogy nem is a tiédből/tiétekből.
És boldogan alszom. Nem mellesleg jó volt látni a videóban, hogy sokan odasiettek a pasihoz segítséget nyújtani. Ami azért tükrözi, hogy nem minden ember olyan "leszarom a társam és átlépek felette".
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
Fantasztikus! Látom megedződtél mióta itt vagy és csak a legjobbaktól tanultál. Egyébként nem a kajapocsékolás a bajom, a how to kajaszétcsapkodós videók viccesek, a swedish meal time pedig az egyik kedvencem, hanem azt nem értem miért vicces, ha valaki elvágódik.
:DD
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
"life vs me"
admin mantra: "mindent le lehet kakilni oszt megy az oldal mégis magától."
életfilozófia mantra: "ideológiailag veszélyesen eltévedt kanadai szektás."
Poor Krillin!
"Az élet egy nagy szarosszendvics és minden nap egy újabb harapás" -ismeretlen gerilla feljegyzése
tessék, fájjon nektek is
2. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
3. How does a rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it.
4. Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
5. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. Librarian: “They’re right behind you!!”.
6. Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch. Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line” Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
7. What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
8. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little antybodies.
9. Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee? Huh. I use a spoon.
10. My friend says to me: “what rhymes with orange” I said: “no it doesn’t”
11. My friends say there’s a gay guy in our circle of friends… I really hope it’s Todd, he’s cute.
12. What happened when the pirate attempted to recite the alphabet? He got lost at ‘c’
13. Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes.
14. People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!
15. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
16. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
17. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
18. Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
19. A guy goes to the Doctor. He’s got a Carrot in 1 ear, a stalk of Celery in his other ear, a Pea in his nostril, he says “Doctor, I haven’t been feeling well.”
The Doctor says “That’s because you’re not eating right.”
20. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.
21. What do you do if you see a space man? Park in it, man.
22. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
23. I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean…
24. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me get to the other side!”
The other guy replies “You are on the other side!”
25. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
26. Why could the lifeguard not save the hippie? He was too far out man.
27. The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
28. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
29. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
30. What’s the difference between a dirty old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station the other one is a busty crustacean.
31. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
32. Why did the banker quit his job? He lost interest!
33. 2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, “you ever worry about that mad cow disease?”. The other cow says, “why would i care? I’m a helicopter!”.
34. A man was hit in the head with a soda. Good thing it was a soft drink.
35. What do you call a dog that has no legs?
Doesn’t matter, he’s not coming.
36. Why do scuba divers jump off boats backwards?
Because if they jumped forward, they’d still be in the boat.
37. I went to the doctor and said I’ve been constantly dreaming that I was a wigwam and sometimes a teepee, he said relax, you’re two tents.
38. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
39. A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says “You can stay, just as long as you don’t start anything”
40. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
:-DDD
"Acro Yoga is an ancient art form that's about ten years old, specifically designed by the masters to help you get more attention on social media."
Komment:
"What is this position called?"
Válasz:
"Uncomfortable."
(korábbi sorozat egyben, egy videóban)
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
Tango
"Lagging is a lifestyle."
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
Újabb érv a kézlevágás mellett, dobálgassa otthon a kurvaanyját.
Everyone wants to shine like a diamond, but no one want to get cut
Elkényeztetett büdös köcsögök
"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?" - Shodan
Mindent kifizetett a drága. Az a másik oldala a dolognak, hogy pocsékba ment minden, amit földhöz vágott. De hát ez mindennapos dolog.
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
Attól még semmilyen poént nem látok a dologban.
Csináljon egy videót, ahol megvesz ugyanennyi tejet és elviszik a hajléktalan gyerekeknek, majd megnevetteti őket mindenféle csetlő-botló bohóckodással. Tán még több likeot is fog kapni a barma.
"Az élet egy nagy szarosszendvics és minden nap egy újabb harapás" -ismeretlen gerilla feljegyzése
Nem fogom ilyenek miatt szétbarmolni a kedvem. Milliárd szám csinálnak ilyet, csak nincs rögzítve. :D
Ezekbe nincs beleszólásom, s mivel megvan a szilárd véleményem arról, mi lenne a helyes és mi az ami abszolút kerülendő, nos ennek fényében megtehetem azt, hogy elmosolyodok ilyesmin, mert attól nem fog változni más mentalitása és nem a reakciómból fog jól lakni a sok éhező, ahogy nem is a tiédből/tiétekből.
És boldogan alszom. Nem mellesleg jó volt látni a videóban, hogy sokan odasiettek a pasihoz segítséget nyújtani. Ami azért tükrözi, hogy nem minden ember olyan "leszarom a társam és átlépek felette".
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
Én sem zokogtam teli párnámat, egyszerűen véleményt nyilvánítottam.
http://imgur.com/gallery/zHaoU
"Az élet egy nagy szarosszendvics és minden nap egy újabb harapás" -ismeretlen gerilla feljegyzése
Ebben mi a vicces? De most komolyan....
Jó lesz az.
Az intelligencia hiánya humortalanságot szül, drágám. Mindenkinek más a humorküszöbe.
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
Akkor már inkább egy kis HowToBasic :D
Everyone wants to shine like a diamond, but no one want to get cut
Pont rá gondoltam, amikor kajapocséklás témát hoztátok fel. Ő nagyobb üzemben űzi az ipart. :D
What tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity. Yet I believe the most significant thing you could do is die.
Fantasztikus! Látom megedződtél mióta itt vagy és csak a legjobbaktól tanultál. Egyébként nem a kajapocsékolás a bajom, a how to kajaszétcsapkodós videók viccesek, a swedish meal time pedig az egyik kedvencem, hanem azt nem értem miért vicces, ha valaki elvágódik.
Jó lesz az.